One of the ideas here at Simple Brew Kits is to make cheap but tasty hooch without a lot of time and effort. For those inclined to the other extreme, here’s a recipe for making excellent champagne:
- Move to Champagne in France
- Learn French (lest the French treat you with disdain)
- Start a vineyard growing champagne grapes
- Learn how to make champagne
- Make your champagne
- Put it on a boat in stormy weather in the Baltic Sea
- Wreck the ship, preferably in about 50 meters of water
- Learn how to live to be about 200 years old
- Rediscover the shipwreck in 170 years
- Voila, you have some impressive aged champagne!
Or you can see if you can get in on an auction for some 170-year-old bottles of champagne that were discovered in 2010 in the Baltic Sea (cost: ~$50,000 a bottle – take that, Dom Perignon!). Scientists have been analyzing the champagne to see how it compares to modern champagne: sweeter (added some grape syrup post hoc, as some Simple Brew Kitters are prone to do), less alcohol (9%, due to less efficient fermentation), less bubbly (seeped out during its stay in the sea). The taste: smoky, spicy, leathery.
I’d love to give it a taste, but for now I’ll stick with the two-week Welch’s white grape juice hooch.